Laugh Out Loud: Over 80 Hilarious Dog Quotes Guaranteed to Brighten Your Day

In this article, we have gathered a compilation of over 80 of the finest humorous dog quotes available. So unwind, enjoy, and prepare for hearty laughs with our selection of the best funny dog quotes!

Top Funny Dog Quotes

For those in search of entertaining and thoughtful quotes about dogs, these top humorous dog quotes are bound to make you smile. Dogs unquestionably stand among the most exceptional beings, and these quotes remind us just why we cherish them. From their selfless love to their steadfast loyalty, dogs impart some of life's most valuable lessons.

• “If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience” -Woodrow Wilson

• “Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent” -Milan Kundera
• “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself” -Josh Billings
• “My little dog-a heartbeat at my feet” -Edith Wharton
• “If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went” -Will Rogers
• “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole” -Roger Caras
• “I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me, they are the role model for being alive” -Gilda Radner
• “Dogs are like potatoes. If you eat them, they'll probably get mad at you, but they'll still love you” -Amber Rae
• “Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail” -Josh Billings
• “What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around-that's their job!” -George Carlin
• “If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise” -Internet
• “A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won't be too bad” -Robert Wagner
• “Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all” -John Grogan
• “Dogs come into our lives to teach us about love and loyalty” -Internet
• “My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am” -Internet

Brief Funny Dog Quotes

In this section, we present short funny dog quotes, ensuring that you have more delightful sayings at your disposal whenever needed. Now, dive right in below!

• “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person” -Andy Rooney

• “If your dog doesn't like someone, you probably shouldn't either” -Internet
• “My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can” -Joe Weinstein
• “I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult” -Rita Rudner
• “No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as a dog does” -Christopher Morley
• “A dog will teach you, more than any book ever could” -Karen Davison
• “Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail” -Kinky Friedman
• “When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem” -Edward Abbey
• “My dog can bark like a congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press secretary, and play dead like a receptionist when the phone rings” -George Carlin
• “There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face” -Ben Williams

Amusing Dog Sayings from Movies

The witty dog sayings from movies featured below will have you rolling with laughter and remind you why our four-legged friends captivate us.

• “You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' – Dave Barry

• “I hope we shall be able to finish the game of fetch before it's time to go home” -Charles M. Schulz
• “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog” -Harry Truman
• “There ain't no way you can lose at the game of love when a Chihuahua is on your team” – Lady and the Tramp
• “Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes!” – Lewis Grizzard
• “No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich” – Louis Sabin
• “A dog is the only thing on earth that will love you more than he loves himself” – Josh Billings
• “If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise” – Internet
• “A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours” – Internet
• “You can't buy love, but it won't buy the wag of his tail” – Josh Billings

Funny Dog Quotes from Literature

These humorous dog quotes from literature illustrate why dogs are our trusted companions. Take a moment to relish the humorous aspects of life with a dog through these witty dog sayings – you won't be disappointed!

• “Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent.” – Milan Kundera

• “Dogs are wiser than men; they know but do not tell” -Emily Dickinson
• “I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts” – John Steinbeck
• “Dogs never bite me; just humans” -Marilyn Monroe
• “The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense” – Jane Austen
• “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man” – Mark Twain
• “Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them, and filling an emptiness we didn't even know we had” – Thom Jones
• “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself” -Josh Billings
• “He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion” – Internet
• “Do you believe dogs won't be in paradise? I assure you, they will arrive long before any of us do” – Robert Louis Stevenson

Top Amusing Dog Quotes in Literature

These passages from books illustrate the countless reasons dogs hold a special place in our hearts. From their unwavering loyalty and dedication to their playful mischief that brings us endless laughter – these quotes highlight why dogs are cherished family members.

• “Heaven favors; if entry was by merit, you would remain outside while your dog would be admitted” – Mark Twain

• “Dogs don't encompass our entire life, but they certainly complete it” – Roger Caras
• “The more I understand men, the more I adore dogs” – Charles de Gaulle
• “No one values the unique brilliance of your conversations like a dog does” – Christopher Morley
• “Every dog deserves its moment” – Jonathan Swift
• “He is your companion, your protector, your canine. To him, you are his life, his affection, his leader. Loyal and true, he will remain by your side until his last heartbeat” – Internet
• “Dogs respond when summoned; cats collect messages and revert back later” – Mary Bly
• “What matters is not necessarily the size of the dog in the battle, but the magnitude of the battle in the dog” – Dwight D. Eisenhower
• “Happiness is embodied in a warm puppy” – Charles M. Schulz
• “Dogs are more affectionate than honorable; they remain loyal to us, but not to themselves” – Clarence Day Jr.

 Humorous Dog Tag Phrases

The comical dog tag phrases are guaranteed to bring a grin to your face. From their unwavering affection to their hilarious behaviors, these sayings capture why we adore our four-legged friends so much.

• “Too adorable to be punished”

• “Taking the Dog for a Stroll”
• “K-9 Unit on Duty”
• “I adore my human, but my allegiance is to my dog”
• “My life is a canine-themed song”
• “My dog loves me more than you ever could”
• “The only tail I don't mind wagging is my dog's!”
• “Misbehaving since 2019”
• “I work tirelessly so my dog can enjoy a better life”
• “My dog is my favorite accessory”

Sassy Dog Tag Sayings

These cheeky dog tag sayings showcase why our furry companions are invaluable parts of our lives. Their boundless love and their amusing antics highlight the daily joy and laughter they offer.

• “My bark is more intimidating than my bite”

• “I'm the true master here”
• “Life is better when I'm pampered”
• “Why need a prince when I have my pup?”
• “Seeking a good pet parent”
• “I operate on my own terms”
• “My human said no, but my pup said yes!”
• “Cuddles are better than cash any day!”
• “I'm too cute to be punished”
• “My heart belongs to my pup”

Witty Dog Quotes with Attitude

These funny and sassy dog quotes reveal the unique connection between us and our loyal canine companions. Their timeless love and playful spirits remind us why we are blessed to have them in our lives.

• “If you feel uneasy around my dog, I'll gladly lock you in a separate room when you visit.”

• “I cohabitate with a pack. The cutest one is in charge.”
• “My dog isn't spoiled, I'm just thoroughly trained.”
• “My dogs have more tricks up their sleeve than you do.”
• “My dog is so clever he could be my advisor!”
• “My dog is my wingman/wingwoman – always has my back!”
• “No need for a security system, I have a dog.”
• “If only we could all be as content as a dog with a bone”
• “My dog is the only one who understands me”
• “I'm never truly alone, my four-legged friend keeps me company”

Humorous Dog Quotes for Social Media Captions

These quotes are perfect for social media posts about our beloved canine friends. Browse and save these sayings to enhance your posts! We believe these quotes will impress you.

• “The path to my heart is paved with paw prints.” – Internet

• “Love is wet noses, slobbery kisses, and wagging tails” – Internet
• “Whoever claimed diamonds are a girl's best friend never owned a dog” – Internet
• “If there are no dogs in Heaven, when I die, I want to go where they went” – Will Rogers
• “The more people I encounter, the more I like my dog”-Internet
• “Dogs are my preferred humans” -Richard Dean Anderson
• “You can usually tell a man's goodness by whether his dog loves him” -W. Bruce Cameron
• “Dogs don't complete our lives, but they certainly do make them whole” -Roger Caras
• “My tiny dog—a pulse at my feet” – Edith Wharton
• “A dog is the only creature that loves you more than he loves himself” – Josh Billings

Top Dog Quotes by Anonymous Authors

Have you ever looked for the finest sayings about dogs by anonymous authors? If you haven't, you're not alone. Don't fret; we're here to assist you. Here are some of the best dog quotes from unknown authors for you to explore with us:

• “My dog and I share an understanding that's wordless” – Internet

• “A dog can heal a crack in your broken heart” -Internet
• “My little four-legged companion, you illuminate my life” -Internet
• “If your dog dislikes someone, you probably shouldn't trust that person” – Internet
• “Without my dog, I'd have no one else to blame” – Internet
• “There is nothing more truthful in this world than the love from a good dog” -Internet
• “My dog and I converse-you just can't comprehend us” – Internet
• “A dog's loyalty is unwavering and eternal” -Internet
• “My dog might not be a genius, but he loves me without reservation” – Internet
• “Dogs are heavenly beings with fur and wet noses” – Internet

Watch more: Spooky Pooches: Halloween Dog Captions to Howl About

Conclusion

In summary, these 80+ humorous dog quotes demonstrate the joy and laughter that our canine friends infuse into our lives. Whether you're searching for a witty quip or a heartfelt expression about the bond between humans and dogs, this compilation offers something for everyone.

So, next time you need an uplifting moment, refer to these funny dog quotes to remind yourself why dogs truly make the best companions one could ever wish for.